So here’s the deal with boys and me. There’s no deal. I’m just a pathetic old piece of shit when it comes to boys. I always fuck up. No wait, i don’t fuck up, i just don’t do anything at all. I really can talk to boys and just be nice to them and have fun with them, but it’s always like friends. I DON’T WANNA BE YOUR FRIEND, I WANNA BE YOUR FUCKING GIRLFRIEND YOU IDIOT. To that, I’m extremely picky. But yeah, I do live in this boring, small town where there’s no cute boy in the fucking area. Well, there are a few, but they are not where I am. Never. So yes, there are no boys who I like, and when there is, I do nothing. So there’s no freaking deal at all. Good work Sanne, really good.
Well, since I’m talking about boys, I maybe should just tell all about my ‘love life’.
It started 3 and a half years ago, the 30th of April, 2009. I was 12, almost 13, and I went to ‘feu’, it’s a nightclub in my town, and once a month there was a night organised for children under 16, like me. So I went there with some friends and, kinda, danced, when suddenly this boy came and started dancing behind me. So I just danced with him and talked for a while, and then we kissed. He turned out to be to most ugliest guy i’ve ever seen. And he was sooo bad at kissing. So, me as a 12 year old innocent little girl never wanted to kiss again. Really traumatic. But yes, you’re right, ofcourse I kissed again. The second time it was great, really great. I was 13, and it was the beginning of my second year in High School. There was this boy in my new class, A, and we talked much and had much fun together, especially when suddenly this ugly faggot in my class liked me. I always laughed with A about the other boy. Untill A said he liked me too.. I didn’t really know what to say, but yeah, he was kinda cute & sweet, so we talked a lot via msn and we texted a lot. And then, we both went to this under16-party-thing in feu and we danced when he asked all of a sudden; ‘Do you want to kiss with me?’ And I was just like; ‘aaaaaawh, thats the sweetest thing i’ve ever heard’ and I said: ‘well, uhhh, sure’, although i knew it wasn’t gonna work. So we kissed, and it felt like my first kiss all over again. It really was great, cause I liked him and knew him. Tip numero uno; always kiss a guy only if you really LIKE or love him, its waaaaaaaaaay better. Soooo, we had a thing for like 1 week and then it was awkward for like 1 year, but now we’re good, and we can talk and have fun again :). So that was that and I moved on, kissing random boys in feu, until I got a thing with another boy, J, for like 3 weeks. He was really nice too, and I really liked him, but he was just a little boring, and waaaay to shy. I did cry though, when it was over. First experience with boytrouble I guess. Since then I did kiss like 10 guys or something, but it was never like a relationship…
I do really want to tell you about one guy though. He was pretty great. It happened last summer, when I was visiting a friend of mine on a campsite in the south of Holland. We went to the club there the first night and I met a nice guy, N, and we talked, and walked along the lake and watched to the stars. It was really nice, he was great to talk to, very easy. So we end up in a sort of playground, and first we sat on a bench and watched the stars when we both saw a falling star. For the both of us it was the first time in our lives we saw one, so we wished something. Later we walked over to the slide and it was - it actually was - really cold, so I shivered and said; ‘wow, it’s so cold’ so he hugged me and gave me his vest. Then, well you can guess what happened, he looked at me and kissed me. It was so perfect. Aaaand he was such a good kisser hehe. Afterwards he said; ‘well, my wish came true’ and I was like; aaaaaaaaaaawh you’re so hdajfklhqipe-freaking sweet hahah. Well, the next days we hang around and kissed and stuff, but I had to go home after 3 days, so he gave me his number and we texted a lot, but he lives 300 kilometers away, so I thought it would never work. And it didn’t. At one side, I did wanted to see him, but when i went to his hometown to do some shopping with my sister I didnt say it to him, because my sister didn’t knew and I thought it wasn’t that much fun for her when i would go and spend the day with him. But a couple of days later he asked; when are you coming to me? So i wanted to be honest and said; I’ve been in your town a couple of days ago and explained why I didn’t go to him, but he got angry with me and we never talked again… Summer loving, happened so fast….
And I did kiss some nice guys in between or after that, but that’s not worth telling I guess :’)
The last development in my ‘love life’ is not that nice. Last year I came into a completely new class and there was this new boy in it, P, who I met and we talked a lot, since we had this same break every monday for like 2 hours without anybody but eachother, so we kinda had to haha. But it was nice, he was very kind and funny, so we laughed and talked a lot and I started to think about if I maybe liked him or not. But my friends were all like; ‘nooo, he’s nice, but defff not boyfriend-material’ so I didn’t tell them and I just moved on and didn’t really think about it again. Untill it came out that he liked another girl in my class, the pretty, smart, amazing, sporty, can-do-everything-girl. Yeah, that one. So I was like, well, forget it, i’m never able to compete with her. So I let it go, UNTILL, a friend of him, D, thought i liked him and didn’t believe me when I said that wasn’t true and shit. So I doubted again, and since P didn’t like the perfect girl anymore, I thought, maybe it can work, ever, in the future between us. But then a friend of mine told me she liked him and another friend told me that he said he kinda liked her. And they dated and kissed. So yeah, i’m defenitely no option for him anymore, i’m kinda done with him now haha. But he remains very cute, and kinda hot, and funny. Sigh. Maybe in 2 years he will break up with my friend and he’ll finally sees me. I hope. In the mean time I will just be myself and have fun with my friends and I will just see which boy comes around :)
WEEEEEEEEELL, sorry for all the boring stories about my not-so-exciting-lovelife :’)
I think i’m going to sleep now, dream about some cute boy, who randomly likes me haha.
-xx
